The Dark Side Of Cheating

Very few feelings can beat the high of a love affair and very little heartache can come near the pain of a love affair. An affair is much like a roller coaster ride with many, frequent ups and down. Deep down you know that what you are doing is not right, that it is destructive and damaging, but it seems impossible to let go. Therefore, the only solution is finding ways of coping with an affair.

Affairs can hurt everyone around you, particularly if there are children involved. Most affairs end in heartache for all parties concerned. We all know that extra-marital affairs are wrong, but we still get involved in them.

Why do affairs happen? A mistress would often say that if her married lover was in a happy marriage and taken care of, he would not have strayed in the first place. That does make sense to a small degree, but the reality is that in happy marriages it is not always moonshine and roses and if opportunity presents itself during the more thorny periods, men are more likely to jump at it. Before they know it, they are caught up in the illicit excitement and find it hard to let go. Men are much more concerned about hurting a woman and therefore find it hard to break off an affair once their marriage is back on track.

Meanwhile, the mistress is all alone in her secret life. Generally, a woman in an affair with a married man cannot tell her friends about him. Her loyalty to her lover prevents her from going out to places where couples are invited and she ends up sitting alone at home, wondering what he is up to.

The man in turn is carrying on with life as usual, spending time with his wife and children. In many instances, the wife does not suspect anything awry. He knows that his mistress will jump at the opportunity to be there when he can manage to make time for her.

When an affair ends, the mistress is often left to pick up the pieces. Her friends never knew about the affair and therefore they cannot console her. Becoming reintegrated into her old life is not easy for the ‘other woman’ where everyone is part of a couple except her. If you are in an affair and you are hurting, you should find someone to speak to to help you find ways of coping with an affair.

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