Affairs can hurt everyone around you, particularly if there are children involved. Most affairs end in heartache for all parties concerned. We all know that extra-marital affairs are wrong, but we still get involved in them.

Why do affairs happen? A mistress would often say that if her married lover was in a happy marriage and taken care of, he would not have strayed in the first place. That does make sense to a small degree, but the reality is that in happy marriages it is not always moonshine and roses and if opportunity presents itself during the more thorny periods, men are more likely to jump at it. Before they know it, they are caught up in the illicit excitement and find it hard to let go. Men are much more concerned about hurting a woman and therefore find it hard to break off an affair once their marriage is back on track.

Meanwhile, the mistress is all alone in her secret life. Generally, a woman in an affair with a married man cannot tell her friends about him. Her loyalty to her lover prevents her from going out to places where couples are invited and she ends up sitting alone at home, wondering what he is up to.

The man in turn is carrying on with life as usual, spending time with his wife and children. In many instances, the wife does not suspect anything awry. He knows that his mistress will jump at the opportunity to be there when he can manage to make time for her.

When an affair ends, the mistress is often left to pick up the pieces. Her friends never knew about the affair and therefore they cannot console her. Becoming reintegrated into her old life is not easy for the ‘other woman’ where everyone is part of a couple except her. If you are in an affair and you are hurting, you should find someone to speak to to help you find ways of coping with an affair.

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Infidelity can be devestating, so understanding cheating is a big help in preventing it.  For women, cheating tends to start out as an emotinal connection with someone other than their spouse.  They are lacking an emotional connection and turn to someone else to receive this emotional connection.

It doesn’t make it right.  It does mean that men need to pay attention to their wives.  Turn off the TV.  Listen to your wife.  What does she need from you?  The only way to ask is to pay attention to her.

When women have an affair, they tend to cheat on their husbands with someone they know.  This makes total sense, since they typically start out with an emotional affair.  Sexual affairs tend not to happen until after some deep emotional connection has taken place.  For this reason, we see that many women cheat with a neighbor, a friend, or a co-worker.

Women also tend to cheat with someone else who is married.  If both parties are involved in acts of infielity, there is less of a chance of getting caught.  She knows that the other man doesn’t want his wife to find out either, so he seems ‘safe’.  Cheating with a married man also means ‘safer sex’ in terms of STD’s.  If he’s also married, he’s likely not running around with many different women, so the risk of disease is lessened.

The biggest reason women cheat is to establish a lost emotional connection.  They want to feel important, they want to feel pretty, the want to feel like someone special.  If you’re not making your wife feel special, you’re opening the door to her having an emotional affair that is likely to turn into a sexual affair.

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