Michael Porteous asked:


There are many types of extramarital affairs and no one is the same in how they pan out. There are however a similar enough theme to many affairs that we can classify them into a few different types. Using these broad definitions you can decide what is the driving for behind the affair and how to deal with it. So here are 7 common types of extramarital affairs to help you out with your relationship troubles.

1. My marriage made me do this! If your partner is blaming your marriage for his affair then obviously the marriage is the issue to look at. However it is a poor excuse to have an affair and blame the marriage for driving your partner to it. An affair is an easy way to get something they feel they cannot get within their marriage, it is an easy quick fix because they do not have the strength to fix whatever the problem is with the marriage. Depending on if you can forgive your partner for their indiscretion this at least is fixable however, if you want to rebuild your marriage you need to find the problems within the marriage and have the strength to confront them. If your partner is still not willing to try to solve these problems then the easy way out for them will always be there.

2. I just can’t say no! This is another coward’s way out, so weak they think they cannot refuse the sexual advances of another. If this is really true then you have to ask yourself if this person really is right for you, if they are this weak now can they ever change? Consider long and hard if this is the base reason for the affair as this is a psychological problem of your partner and has nothing to do with your marriage or yourself.

3. I just don’t WANT to say no! While it sounds similar to the previous type of affair this is actually better in some ways. If they did not want to say no it means they had a conscious choice and took it, this means they had to make a decision to go that far meaning there was still many reasons for them to say no but more reasons in their mind to say yes. If you can discover what made them make that fateful decision you can find the underlying problem and possibly save your relationship.

4. I am not in love any more! When your partner says this it can often mean they actually do not feel the excitement of being in love that you had at the beginning. All relationships lose that hot spark over time but they mature and become a different sort of love. Some people cannot make that transition however and feel if that first passion is not there consistently then the love is gone. This drives them into affairs for the excitement and thrill and what they feel is love. If they can learn to accept a new form of love you may be able to win them back if that is your wish and it may be a way to spark that first romance again as long as they realize the passion and excitement cannot last forever, if they cannot then more affairs will happen.

5. I did it to get revenge on my spouse! What did you do to deserve this treatment? An affair is a terrible way to punish your partner and is childish and immature to boot. However you can at least pinpoint the reason for the affair and can work to solve this issue. However if it is your partners habit to punish you for perceived wrongdoings you must ask yourself if this is the sort of person you wish to be with. Many people who make this decision do it on the spur of the moment however and can be remorseful about it. Those who do it as a calculated action should be avoided.

6. I needed to prove to myself I am still attractive! This is a major self esteem issue and is something that can be reversed if you can forgive them. This is the sign of a deeply unhappy person not at peace with themselves or their relationship. Sometimes it can be masked with a certain amount of ego and bravado but under it is usually a scared individual.

7. I just wanted to be close to someone! This is a sign of intimacy problems within your relationship. Whose fault this is does not matter at this point, they have erred by having an affair but this is a person looking for love and if you can still give it to them you can save your relationship. If you do give them all the love you can this may be a problem with them accepting your love for some reason.

While there may be more types of extramarital affairs these are some of the most common and if you can use this guide to pinpoint the type that your partner has committed you can make the right decision for your relationship!

Types Of Affairs

Jane A. Smith asked:


Survey outcomes give valuable information regarding the reasons and infidelity deeds of men. Surprisingly, the springiness that men appear to have towards their ego, even tough not meaning to cheat, they consider discrepancy as something that must be at all times avoided. History reveals us that mankind has since long ago tolerated a certain level of polygamy and besides religion norms, financial status is the only impediment.

Polygamy practices in ancient times The statement sustaining that men are rational and capable of reflection towards their actions is disputable, but the more advanced mankind is, the more elaborate from sexual characteristics point of view is going to be. By observing males behavior within species, it has been proved that they consider procreation as a priority, after first place being occupied by food supply.

Therefore, looking from a development perspective, the charge brought to men as moral fibre lack is not fully based, because anthropological studies revealed that in the past human societies have tolerated polygamous marriages up to 85%.

Furthermore, the main ground why men are cheating is clearly due to sex starvation and the necessity to find new sources and ways of satisfaction. The impossibility to master these inner wants is sustained by other two reasons that are said to be among infidelity causes and men past habits of cheating; a habit regarding the disappointment suffered and lack of sex appeal; the disappearance of novelty produced between whiles.

There are also other foolish and childish reasons that determine men to cheat their wives as for example, due to continuous nagging, some cheat to take revenge on the nagging spouse and to feed his ego. But this interpretation and solution are both wrong, and unfortunately, it usually leads to constant cheating.

The Periods when Men Might Cheat Research show that during the life of relationships there are four intervals containing the necessary ingredients for infidelity to thrive. After experiencing the first year of marriage, an emotional downward sloping curve is noticed due to the disappearance of marriage novelty feeling. The first born period has a considerable impact on the relationship dynamics due to the attention focused on the little one, thus the husband sometimes considers infidelity as a mean of satisfaction. After approximately 7 years of marriage, the couple has carried out the goals established earlier and the husband find himself yearning for those old and almost forgotten experiences and thus, tries to find them in order to invigorate him.

Finally, during the middle age they both have spent a lot of time together and they begin to question their commitment. This period is often seen as the second infancy stage for the men, and he might get involved in inappropriate or selfish activities. As human beings have good and bag days, so do relationships pass in time through less resistant periods when infidelity can arise.

Plus, it has been proved that sexual behavior is influenced by age and as men grow older, their sexual appetite decreases as well as extra-marital intercourse, and sexual abstinence is ought to increase.

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